Amor y Amistad and the Friendships That Saved Me
Valentine’s Day is known in parts of Latin America as el día del amor y la amistad—the Day of Love and Friendship. When you look at it that way, Valentine’s Day easily becomes one of my favorite holidays. This past year, I decided to make friendships my main priority in life, and to be honest, the love I’ve received from my friends has been life-changing.
Five years ago, I left all of my friends and family in Colorado and moved to San Diego knowing absolutely no one. Starting from scratch once is one thing, but three years later, I did it all over again when I moved to LA. Moving to a large metropolitan city is one thing—but add working remotely and traveling often for work, and suddenly making friends as an adult feels nearly impossible.
What they don’t teach you in school (aside from how to file your taxes or how to invest) is how to make friends as an adult. Long gone are the days when you sit next to someone, share half your sandwich, and boom—you’re officially best friends. Now we’re adults with full-time jobs, bills, sometimes partners and kids, and family obligations. Not to mention, you’re supposed to take care of your physical health, mental health, financial health… so where do you actually end up making friends?
During my first year in LA, there were weeks when the only face-to-face conversation I had was with the cashier at Trader Joe’s (thank goodness they’re required to make conversation). Sometimes I’d be so excited that I’d hold up the line, stretching the interaction as long as I could. That’s when I knew I had to do something about it—and make some actual friends.
Slowly but surely, I started to make one friend, then another. Fast forward a year, and I could cry just thinking about the genuine friendships I’ve been able to make, nurture, and build. Once you tell the Universe that you’re open to new friendships, it does this funny thing and places other people—who are also looking for connection—right in your path. Whether through hobbies, running into each other at the gym, or simply asking someone if they want to grab coffee or go to the next day’s class together, sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and ask.
My friendships with other women are vital to me. When I went through my first heartbreak since moving, my girlfriends were the ones who put me back together piece by piece, laugh by laugh. When I needed a ride from the airport (and yes, true friendship is being picked up from LAX), they were there. My friends have honestly made the idea of romantic love feel almost impossible at this point.
The way they’ve seen me at my lowest—when I was nothing but a dark cloud—and showed up at my doorstep to help open a window is indescribable. The way they listen to my ideas, my thoughts, my fears, my worries—and better yet, ask follow-up questions. When society makes me feel like I’m behind or running out of time, my friends are the first to show up and say, “We are just fine,” exactly where we are.
On the days when I don’t feel like I’m enough, they never hesitate to remind me who I am. Simply put, my friends are vital to every fiber of my existence. My amigas have taught me that platonic love is just as important as romantic love—if not more.